Why is it that when my guy and I are driving to a restaurant across town, it is so hard for me to let him go the route he chooses to take without offering ‘help’? I second guess him, offer suggestions or completely tell him he’s chosen poorly sometimes. Why do I do this? Why does it matter which way we go? If I allow myself to think about it, I truly don’t care about the route, but something inside desperately wants to be in charge, even in the little things.
We all know the story of the fall of man: God creates Adam from the dirt, forms Eve from out of Adam, they walk with God in the cool of the day while naming animals, and Eve is tempted by the serpent and gives in, pulling Adam into the temptation, God punishes them by saying man will have to work all his days and woman will have painful childbirth. That’s it, right? This provides a pat answer to so many questions about sin and bad choices, but recently I was led back to the actual scriptures and something new was brought to my attention.
Look at Genesis 3:16:
To the woman he said,
“I will make your pains in childbearing very severe;
with painful labor you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband,
and he will rule over you.”
Woman’s punishment was two-fold, but I don’t remember ever reading that second part. Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you. Huh? How is that a punishment? When we read desire, we think in terms of sex. But God was saying that woman’s tendency will be to dominate/rule/win over your husband and man’s tendency will be to rule/tyrant over his wife. The same word for desire is used in Genesis 4:7 in regards to sin’s eagerness to control each of us. We should not be surprised when we find ourselves competing against one another, it should be as expected as labor pains.
You mean my natural inclination to take over is normal? It does not mean that I am justified to want to win; it means that this will always be a weak place in my marriage. In your marriage. In all marriages. It is a direct result from the fall of man. What if I remembered that the temptation to be right is directly tied to sin, and I kept my mouth shut about the route taken, and just enjoy the ride?
Marriage is hard work, it has been since the beginning of time. And it’s worth it.