Many of us are walking around, making our way in this life without the help of a parent. I hear stories from so many people who do not have a reliable relationship with a biological parent, and often it is obvious. I believe this will become more of the norm in our society as families are more fractured than ever and mental illness is on the rise. If you have spent any time without a parent because they are no longer there physically or emotionally, or perhaps never were, I want to say I am sorry for your loss. This is definitely something to acknowledge and grieve. This is also something you can help repair in your life. I want to encourage you to seek out a surrogate parent. Scour the earth and look for someone who can love you well and then ask them to do that very thing. If they agree, stay in front of them, asking hard questions and learn everything you can about how to move forward in this world and what unconditional love looks like. Allow yourself to feel worthy of this relationship and take full advantage of it, just like a small child does.
Ladies, you deserve a woman in your life who can teach you how to time dinner on the table, ready all at once and someone who can detect a fever with just a kiss to the forehead or hear the sickness in your voice from across the country away and fiercely loves your mate and children and someone who encourages you and believes in you and looks you in the eye when they remind you who you are.
Gentlemen, you deserve a man in your life who teaches you how to caulk a shower and tie a tie and treat a woman with respect and dignity, someone who will unashamedly hug you tight and says I love you and I am proud of you, son. Someone who can teach you the soft skills of compassion and perseverance. Someone you know you can call and admit when you’ve messed up, and they will always answer and support you.
There should be no shame in wanting this or in searching for it. If you need help, contact me and we’ll look together. You are worth it. If you believe that, I’m so proud of you! In the meantime, if you’re interested, there are some great people to follow on Instagram who can be temporary stand-ins; my favorite Dad is Dadadvicefrombo and a classic mom is Brunchwithbabs. And if you’re fortunate enough to have a rockstar parent or two, invite others to bask in the glow, there is plenty to go around.
What a heartwarming idea.
Thank you so much!