Left to Our Own Devices


Our son is in love. He’s been dating a wonderful young lady for about six months now and it has been fun to watch him care for and protect someone other than his sisters. I have no idea where this relationship will go in the future, it’s not my job to know these things, but I am seeing a mature high school couple navigating adult emotions and situations, and doing it quite well. In fact, they  could probably teach us a thing or two.

Recently Coleman got a new phone, one with fingerprint identification so he doesn’t have to put in a code to use it. We were teasing him about adding his parents’ fingerprints to it and he told us that his girlfriend has authorization, and he does on her phone, as well. I don’t see this as a red flag, a sign of getting too serious or being controlling. I see this as showing transparency in the relationship and being open to accountability with each other. Each person can pick up the other’s phone and use it for convenience, and scroll through it and see what the other has been viewing and texting. How many married couples do you know who do not have this kind of access? Why is that?

In so many ways technology is a wonderful thing, but it can also be very isolating. The fact that we all have computers in our pockets, able to access any thing at any time, creates a whole world that no one else is invited into, unless you welcome them in. Left to our own devices (pun intended) we are all one or two missteps away from really messing up. Giving someone else the key to yours communicates that you trust them, but also that you trust yourself. Who do you have in your life who has full access to your phone and/or home computer? If no one, what needs to be done so that can change?


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