Last week my guy visited our daughter for Thanksgiving break. She is in school in Maine, started this fall and her Dad hadn’t had the opportunity to go there until now. I was very excited for the two of them, for him because he would finally see all that we had described, and for our girl because she has been away from family for what feels like an eternity.
Before the trip I talked to each of them about plans while they were there and both were non-committal; it was almost like no one wanted to make the first move. So I researched things to do in cities nearby and had several ideas, in case they asked. They didn’t. I knew they planned to go out for Thanksgiving, so I looked up all the restaurants that would be open on the day and had two specific ones in mind that would be in the right area and took reservations. It turned out they didn’t need my help at all.
On Thanksgiving Day, my loved ones went into a larger city nearby and drove around until they found someplace interesting that was open, they had to sit in the bar because of a lack of reservations, but my guy usually prefers that anyway. My mini-family had a perfectly good four day visit, driving to four different states, without any help from me. They did it in a way that I would not have chosen, and that’s just fine because I wasn’t there. Several times I was tempted to tell them what they needed to do and how to go about it, but this way was so much better because it was their time together.
Sometimes I need to be reminded that I don’t have to control all the pieces on the board, keeping up with my own piece should be plenty. Now I can start planning my trip north to Maine!
I just saw an episode of Frasier, and it was about how he went in and changed his friends, the buyer’s of the house he built. He even changed the chair on the porch. I think it’s hard just sitting back sometimes, letting someone else control the show. Believe in them and allow them to lead the way. Enjoy this. HAPPY THANKSGIVING