beautifullifeMaybe it happens when you’re tired or at a weak moment, when your confidence level is really low. You are at a party and look over at the beautiful woman who is smiling up at her husband while he says something witty and wonderful, their well- behaved children are nearby in clean clothes that are both trendy and fitting for the occasion and you have the singular thought crash in over all the others: I wish I had her life.

This is the same sin that pulls people into affairs, the deception that there is something better out there than what I currently have. The truth is that the woman who always seems to have it together has her own issues, and you do not want them. You don’t see her eating disorder or her need to control every aspect of their family life. You don’t realize that her need to always look the part has driven them deep into retail debt and taught the children that appearances are what matter most. It’s not obvious, but the husband doesn’t trust her because of the poor decisions that have been made for years, and their marriage goes no deeper than what everyone sees.

If only we could see all of the iceberg, not just what others want us to see.

You look back at your brood, two of your kids are pushing each other while the third is walking away from all of you, and your guy is watching the game over everybody’s head, completely in his own world. But you know that you are going home with songs being sung in the car together, with jokes that no one else on earth would understand and with intimacy you and your guy only share. These are your people. This is your life. Embrace it fully and gratefully, pushing away that lie that anyone has it better than you do.

You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor. Exodus 20:17


11 thoughts on “Deceived

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  1. Well said. So important in this day and age when you only see the shiny, good parts of peoples lives on social media and think everyone else has it better.

  2. What’s wrong with watching football over everyone’s head? He was not alone in his own world… there were other guys in that world.

  3. Great reminder. We often construct our own narratives for others’ lives and forget that we have some of the same problems deep down inside. Thanks for your words.

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