About ten years ago I was told by a trusted friend that I would really enjoy my forties. At the time I was smack dab in the middle of my thirties, and just beginning to feel more comfortable in my own skin. My wise friend assured me that this feeling would continue, and that I would also grow to care more about my own opinions and less about others. That was exciting news to me, because I had spent years trying to please others and was pretty exhausted from the work of it. I can remember the conversation so well because it was hopeful, so much better than the complaints I had heard from others about the atrocities of getting older!
I am pleased to say that my friend spoke truth, some wonderful things happen as you age, most of them within and not so visible to others. The same is true in marriage. Wisdom and experience set in, and you have history to lean on for perspective. Trust has been built over time and those issues that were so big in the early years no longer matter so much, or are gone completely.
My guy and I just went on a trip to Key West to celebrate our 20th anniversary. What promised to be a time of sunshine, beaches and warmth turned out to be soggy, with flood waters and near-constant rain. It didn’t take us long to assess the situation and change course, coming home a couple of days early to Midwest sunshine and warmth. Earlier in our marriage, the decision to scrap our plans could have caused stress and a feeling of failure, but this was an easy choice for us and we were able to preserve the vacation mindset at home. It didn’t matter where we were, as long as we were together.
I’m just glad we were mature enough to know this is true.