Say What You Need to Say was a time in my marriage when I expected my husband to read my mind. We were one flesh, right? So he must know how I feel without me needing to explain and of course he knows what I want based on my subtle hints and clues….ha! Over and over again I would get mad/frustrated/resentful because he didn’t respond the way I wanted; the right gift in the wrong color, trying to fix my problem when I just wanted him to listen, misreading my need for a hug with a desire for more.

I decided to try something truly innovative – I communicated what I wanted. I had my eye on a baker’s rack in a catalog, and an open wall in the kitchen where I wanted it to go. We couldn’t afford the piece immediately, so a few weeks before Christmas I tore out the picture, circled the color I wanted and taped it to the wall where I envisioned it sitting. You know what happened? I got exactly what I wanted!

My husband loves to give me what I want, these days I have to be careful with my words because if I like something he will try his best to get it for me. I’m not sure why I thought he should ‘just know’ what I needed, like that was the sign of a good marriage. I owe it to my guy to be honest with him when something is bothering me, instead of playing a game and then resenting him for not following my rules.

After many years our communication has improved, and our marriage has too. Maybe we’re on to something…

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